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Student A Work
Before DATSIFACT
 
Student Work
 
Student A1
 

     THE FOLLOWING IS A BEGINNING-OF-YEAR COMPOSITION PRODUCED BY ONE OF MY 6TH GRADE STUDENTS.

****All student work is identical to what the student wrote, so any mistakes are those of the student.****

 

      One of the best days of my life was when I went canoing with my dad and uncle. We went canueing on the james river, we often found rocks in the middle of the river to fish off of. We didn't catch many fish, but we did see two alligator gars. The looked like a shark and alligator put together. It was brown with black spots.
      I found the hardest about canueing with two other peaple is keeping your balance. That was hard for me because I was sitting in the middle on a cooler. The funniest thing that happened was when my uncle was fishing.  That was funny because be casted and his lure got stuck.  When my uncle tried to get it unstuck, he pulled it to hard and the poll broke. It wasn't that funny to him because that was his favorte poll.
      Other than that we had a good time. That was one of the best days I've ever had. The reason why I think that is because I got to spend time with my dad and uncle. Also because my uncle lives in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, and I never get to see him.  So, for me that was a great day and I can't wait to do it again.

 

 
 
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After DATSIFACT
 
Student Work
 
Student A2
 

      SAME STUDENT, A FEW MONTHS LATER.  SHE REALLY DEMONSTRATED AN UNDERSTANDING OF COMPLEX WRITING. 

 

      It was a beautiful sunny day in Ocean City, Maryland. Me and a girl named Loren I just me decided to go surfing. The waves that day were great, perfect for surfing.
      So Loren and I went and got our wet suits on. Lorens was black and green and mine was black and blue.
      So finally we were ready to go surfing.  After the first few waves we began to “learn the ocean.”  Which meant that we figured out the sets the waves came in. And in this case there would be four small waves, then a huge wave.
      Everything was going great until my stupidity got us into trouble.
      I had forgotten to follow one of the most important rules ever: always pay attention to your surroundings!
      I had become totally oblivious to everything around me. While we were waiting for the fith wave we had drifted very far away from the shore.  The people on shore looked like little tiny dots to me and Loren.
      Being that far away from shore made me pretty scared. I knew that we could paddle back, but I was still scared.
      And just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, this huge monsterous wave was building up behind us. You see this was not your average wave, this wave was at least six feet above our head, and it was getting bigger.
      I yelled in horror “start paddeling as fast as you can!” Loren (I think) was so horrified she couldn’t  respond.
      So we started paddeling franticly trying to get away from the wave, but we were to slow. The wave crashed right on by back, throwing me off my board. And the worst thing about it was, the fin cut my café in the process.
      When I caught sight of Loren I motioned her over. Luckily for her, she was still on her board.
      “What happened to your leg!” she said when she saw it bleeding.
      "The fin on my board cut it, when it threw me off." I answered in pain. The salt water was burning my leg. It felt like little needles popping into my skin.
      At last we spotted my surf board. Loren helped me onto her surfboard, and we started to paddle over to it.
      Once I got onto my surf board, little sets of waves started to roll in. They really made a big difference, by pushing us closer and close to shore. Finally my feet were able to touch the sand, which felt like sandpaper rubbing against my feet.
      Loren and I ran to our parents who said when they saw us "Man! Did you see that wave a minute ago. It was huge!"
      "Yes. Yes we did." I answered blankley.

 
 
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Student B Work
Before DATSIFACT
 
Student Work
 
Student B1
 

      THIS 6TH GRADE STUDENT HAS DIFFICULTY WITH WRITING.  HE IS AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE LEARNER (ELL), AND HE CONTINUES TO SHOW MISTAKES COMMON TO NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS.

 

      One of my favorite activities is soccer.  Some of the reason I like soccer is scoring goals.  Other things is being the goalie, and having the ball.
      I like soccer because I can score goals.  When you score a goal it helps your team.  Also when you score it makes you proud.
      I also like soccer because you can be the goalie.  The goalie job is not to let the other team score.  When a player from the other team try's to score goalie has to save it.
      And last is having the ball.  When you have the ball you are trying passing to someone.  You can pass to goal or cross the ball to someone head.
      And this are the reason I like soccer as my favorite activity.

 
 
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After DATSIFACT
 
Student Work
 
Student B2
 

THE SAME ELL STUDENT WHO PRODUCED THE STORY ON THE PREVIOUS PAGE AUTHORED THIS NARRATIVE JUST FIVE MONTHS LATER.  THE STUDENT WRITES WITH MUCH MORE DETAIL AND COMPLEXITY, WHICH I ATTRIBUTE TO HIS USE OF THE ELEMENTS OF DATSIFACT.

 

      Something special that's happen to me is going fishing with my dad. 
      In 2005 me and my dad went fishing.  My dad likes to fish, he short and has jet (black) hair.  We drove to the place we were to fish.  When we got there we found a place to unload are stuff.  The place was stunning and had a good view of the sparkling lake.  The was weather was really hot and bright, so we tried to stay under olive color trees.
      When we got the stuff in place we got our fishing rods.  My fishing rod was a sky blue rod with a red crimson string.  My dad was a lime green rod.  We sat down and put on a dull worm on.  We threw our string into the glossy lake.  Just moments the string was moving.  I grab my rod and start pulling.  My dad said "don't let go" and I pulled and saw I caught a pale dove (white) catfish.  My dad said "we done son" and i said "thanks dad" and put the catfish in a dusty curved bucket.
      And when we got home my dad said "look at what your son caught" to mother.  And my other said "wow" to me.  And then I went upstairs and took a shower and knew my dad was proud of me and excited to eat a fishy catfish.

 
 
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